Aging: A Mindset of Growth and Contribution

Society often sees aging as a decline, but it's important to shift this perspective. Instead, focus on the idea that you can continue to thrive, grow, and make a difference in the world, no matter your age. This mindset is rooted in having a sense of purpose and believing that your life is meaningful and valuable.

Welcome changes and experiences of senior adulthood by owning the term “old.”

American culture often celebrates youth while portraying aging as a decline in vitality and relevance. However, the second half of life is just as valuable as the first. Embracing the word "old" and celebrating the experiences of senior adulthood can lead to a more fulfilling life.

The term "old" can be limiting when seen as negative, leading people to feel marginalized or to deny the realities of aging. Society often perpetuates the idea that old age is a burden rather than a natural stage of life. As you navigate the changes in your body and mind, consider reimagining what they signify. Your later years can be a time of deep fulfillment and alignment with your core values. Achieving this requires introspection and discovering what brings meaning to your days.

Discover your life's purpose through past reflection and future envisioning

Pivotal life events like death, health issues, or retirement mark the passage of time, triggering self-reflection and presenting choices for how you want to age. These events offer opportunities to weigh your prior experiences and consider what you want in the future. Purposeful aging requires this reflection and projection to enter â€œintentional elderhood.” Reflect on how your childhood self used to answer the question, “What do I want to be when I grow up?” Your answer at age 60 may differ significantly from your answer at age seven or even at age 20.

Defining Your Purpose in Three Steps

• Contribution to the World: Identify your talents, skills, and experiences that enable a meaningful contribution.
• Helping Others: Identify a problem, issue, or injustice that resonates deeply with your values and emotions.
• Passionate Pursuits: Enthusiasm and motivation come naturally when you feel passionate about something.

Finding Purpose and Identity in Later Life

Throughout your life, your family and job motivate you to get up each morning. However, as you get older, your reasons for waking up become more about the value you bring to the world. Having a sense of purpose boosts your optimism and resilience, helping you set goals and actively engage in life.

When you retire or your children leave home, you might feel like you've lost part of your identity. This is the time to redefine yourself. Three theories can help you find your identity:

• “Body Theory:” Your body holds your identity, but as you age, it doesn't fully represent who you are.
• “Memory Theory:” Your unique memories shape you, but you may not remember everything from your past.
• “Soul Theory:” This theory suggests that your body houses your soul, which continues to exist after your body does not.

Purpose and spirituality are closely linked. Making positive contributions, big or small, in your daily life reinforces the idea that you still have a lot to offer.

Labels like parent or businessperson don't define one's essence
Gaining self-worth comes from learning, growing, and giving. This not only adds value to others' lives but also improves the world. In young adulthood, activities like parenting and working provide both emotional and financial benefits. As we age, the rewards shift from providing solutions to exploring life's big questions. This exploration prevents us from living on autopilot.

Many people feel regret as they grow older. Elderhood is a chance to deeply explore important questions. For example, Tom Schreier, who started Notre Dame’s Inspired Leadership Initiative, felt lost after retiring at 55. He found a new purpose by redefining success and now offers tools and resources for others entering this life phase.

Stay close to loved ones and nurture your spiritual side
People's backgrounds, cultures, and role models shape their ideas of a fulfilling life. In Hinduism, life is divided into four stages: “student, householder, retirement, and renunciation.” The focus shifts to spiritual growth in the later stages, bringing deeper satisfaction than just leisure activities.

Spiritual growth doesn't just happen in religious places. It can involve connecting with nature, helping others, or practicing meditation and mindfulness. However, financial concerns often get in the way of focusing on spirituality. It's important to define what "enough" means to you. Consider what a good life looks like and determine how much money you need to achieve it.

Later years offer more freedom of choice

Society and family shape our ideas of adulthood, pushing us toward milestones like education, jobs, partners, homes, and children. But this traditional view is changing. People now accept different life choices, even in later years. You don't have to stick to the usual path, which can lead to feeling empty and worried about time running out.

When every day feels the same, you might sense something's missing. This can come from not living with purpose in four key areas: 

• location
• relationships
• work
• Goals.

Changing one of these can greatly improve your outlook. Think about why you live where you do; choose a place that suits you better. If your close friends and family aren't as present as before, it's never too late to make new connections.

When you're not tied down by the need to make a living, you have the freedom to try new work, volunteer, start a business, or focus on a hobby. Having a purpose is important, and now you get to decide what it is.

Approach aging challenges with a positive mindset

A late-life crisis can bring feelings of unhappiness, a loss of identity, and worry that your best times are in the past. It can be triggered by events like a death or illness, boredom, or feeling unimportant. The fear of time running out can make these feelings stronger. Signs of a late-life crisis include thinking a lot about death, avoiding talk about aging, questioning your beliefs, feeling sad, and not enjoying things you used to like.

This crisis is a chance to look at where you are in life and shift your focus from regretting losses to being excited about new opportunities. It's normal to feel this way as you get older. Talking about these feelings with friends and family and having deep discussions about what's next can help you through this tough time. 

Finding a purpose is key to getting better. You can discover your true self through different activities like writing in a journal regularly, having honest talks, creating a personal purpose statement, or practicing mindfulness with yoga or meditation.

Pass on the benefits of your experience to the next generation

As we grow older, we face common challenges like isolation, health problems, and financial difficulties. Even the most fortunate among us will encounter tough situations that can affect our quality of life. However, we have the power to choose how we respond to these challenges. Our past experiences give us the resilience and strength to handle life's obstacles.

Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, also known as Reb Zalman, introduced the concept of "sage-ing." This idea focuses on older adults who keep learning, contributing, and living joyfully. He believes in valuing elders for their wisdom and lessons. A sage in their later years seek knowledge, makes thoughtful decisions, and treats others with kindness and honesty. Psychologist Erik Erikson mentioned a similar concept, "generativity," meaning the elder’s role in guiding the young and enriching society. Sage-ing puts this idea into practice, as seniors share their life lessons.

Let go of what doesn't help; embrace every aspect of yourself

Being true to yourself means accepting your feelings, fears, and flaws. Balance your mind, body, and soul to face each day with excitement. Growth reduces fear and anxiety, helping you accept yourself. Show the world your true self, even the parts you don't like. As you age, your physical strength may decrease, but your emotional side becomes more empathetic and kind to yourself and others.

To fully live, accept that death is part of life. This acceptance helps you prioritize and live in the moment. Having a purpose is what keeps you going every day. As you get older, you realize the importance of living in the present because life is short. It's normal to fear death, but practicing gratitude can bring peace. The "grow and give" approach helps you stay relevant and valuable as you age with purpose, allowing you to feel whole even in your later years.