The Rise of the American Dream Through Post-War Work

The American Dream of having a stable middle-class job and keeping up with others is no longer a reality. Many parents might say they aimed to get an education, secure a steady job, and buy a house when they were young. From the end of World War II until the global financial crisis in 2008, Americans were living this dream.

What fueled this dream? Simply put work. During and after World War II, as men went off to fight and many women entered the workforce, something changed. When the war ended and soldiers returned home, women kept working. For the first time, both men and women were earning wages, and supporting their families financially.

Decline of the American Dream

When two people worked together, families had more money to spend. This allowed them to buy cars, larger homes, and new appliances, enjoying a higher standard of living than their parents could have imagined. However, hidden behind this prosperity was a troubling reality: a marketing strategy aimed at encouraging people to spend. Americans were increasingly urged to showcase their success by owning more than their neighbors.

Since the financial crisis of 2008, the American Dream has faded. Stable, middle-class jobs have become rare. Companies have either sent jobs overseas or replaced workers with technology to cut costs. Many jobs today are temporary, offering no security or freedom. Despite investing in education, many find themselves jobless, or in roles where they're overqualified and underpaid. It's a grim tale. But should we be disheartened? There's a silver lining to the demise of the American Dream, leading to a hopeful new era.

Personal Control in Today's Era "Choose yourself"

We're now in an era where taking charge of your own life is crucial. The traditional American Dream might be fading, but that's not necessarily a negative change. Instead, we're entering a time of greater personal freedom.

In the past, success often hinged on others choosing you. For example, getting ahead in your career meant working hard and hoping your boss would notice and promote you. Even in creative fields, like writing, your success often depends on industry executives picking your work to develop and promote.

Today, the world has changed. You don't need others to ensure your success. Instead, you can-and should-take charge of yourself. To step outside the limits of temporary corporate jobs, you can empower yourself. Besides self-assurance, all you require is a smartphone or a laptop with internet access, enabling you to pursue your goals independently. For instance, if you've written a book, skip traditional routes; and publish it online. If you've created a TV show, instead of pitching it, share it on platforms like YouTube to connect directly with your audience.

By choosing this path, you avoid the trap of merely chasing money. The American Dream once focused on earning more to buy more, regardless of personal happiness. In this new era, however, we have the freedom to pursue our passions. If these pursuits lead to financial success, happiness naturally follows.

Fear of Rejection Shapes Our Choices

Many of us wait for others to decide our futures because we're afraid of being turned down. This fear often stops us from taking action, even if we spot someone we like in a coffee shop. Instead of approaching them, we hope they'll come to us. Why? Because we dread rejection more than anything else and will go to great lengths to avoid it.

This fear of rejection also influences how we let others choose us. Many people think they're not good enough and rely on others-like teachers, bosses, or publishers-to decide things for them. To illustrate this, Yale psychology professor Stanley Milgram conducted a study where students were asked to request seats from seated passengers on the subway. Surprisingly, 70 percent of passengers gave up their seats without hesitation.

This study shows that many people are willing to let others make decisions for them, influenced by their fear of rejection.

Overcome Fear of Rejection and Taking Control of Your Dreams

We need to change our mindset. Instead of being afraid of rejection and letting others decide for us, we should make our own choices and empower ourselves.

What happens if we let others determine our future? We leave ourselves open to rejection and become unhappy when we are turned down.

This exact scenario happened to the writer. He worked hard on a TV project named III

for HBO. However, to get it made, he relied on one person at a TV company to say "yes."

In the end, the company said "no," the project abruptly ended, and all his hard work went to waste.

This isn't how we should live our lives! You must be the one in control of your dreams. But saying you won't let anyone control your dreams is easier than doing it. So, how do you overcome the fear of rejection?

Take Care of Your Physical and Mental Health

To begin living in the "choose yourself" era, you need to focus on both your physical and mental health. It might seem daunting to promote yourself and face rejection daily, so it's crucial to build a strong foundation. This involves looking after your four main areas: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Let's start with the first two: physical and mental health. Our physical body is vital for our well-being and allows us to thrive. To maintain it:

• Ensure you get enough sleep, ideally seven to nine hours each night.
• Eat two meals a day instead of three.
• Regularly exercise and spend time outdoors.

Taking care of your physical and mental health sets the groundwork for a balanced and healthy life.

Mental Energy Management: Training Your Mind for Better Focus

Taking care of your mental well-being can be challenging. Many of us waste mental energy by constantly overthinking and worrying about things beyond our control. This habit is easy to fall into, but it can lead to burnout. To tackle this issue, you need to teach your mind to think positively. One effective way to do this is by exercising your creativity.

Try setting aside time each day to read parts of four different books covering a range of topics, from celebrity biographies to scientific texts. Afterward, jot down at least ten ideas. These ideas can vary widely in scope, from big concepts like ending world hunger to smaller ones, such as ways to make your partner happy. The key is to generate ideas and write them down.

By regularly engaging in this exercise, you'll find yourself less inclined to worry about unimportant matters. Instead, you'll be occupied with productive thinking and creativity, leaving you less mentally drained.

Nurture Your Emotional Well-being "bodies."

Choosing to prioritize yourself starts with nurturing healthy spiritual and emotional aspects of your life. Besides these, you also need to care for your emotional and spiritual well-being.

Your emotional health is crucial. To "choose yourself" and thrive, you need to eliminate negativity and focus on staying positive. A key way to achieve this is by avoiding people who consistently upset you. We all know these types - they're the ones you vent about to your partner or friends, saying, "Can you believe what they said this time?"

Detach from Negative Relationships and Staying Present

To maintain your emotional health, it's essential to distance yourself gradually from draining people. It's crucial to be kind in this process. Instead of being rude, greet them warmly but avoid further engagement. By doing this, you'll free yourself to think positively, which will nurture your emotional well-being and help you thrive.

For a healthier spiritual state, focus on living in the present moment. Many of us spend too much time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, which leads to burnout and limits our potential. To counter this, practice mindfulness. Pay attention to your surroundings, whether you're in a city or elsewhere. Notice the details of buildings and their unique designs. This helps keep your mind grounded in the present and prevents unnecessary stress.

Build Healthy Daily Routines

Creating daily routines to improve your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being is key to thriving in today's self-care era. While knowing what to do is essential, sticking to these routines can be challenging. The secret lies in forming habits.

Instead of immediately changing external factors like jobs or friends, focus on changing yourself first. This internal transformation begins with daily habits that benefit you. For instance, you might start with simple rules like avoiding TV and junk food or thinking of ten friends you appreciate.

Another beneficial habit is helping others whenever possible. This act triggers the release of oxytocin, a hormone that promotes health and reduces stress. Interestingly, oxytocin is also released during orgasm and childbirth, contributing to its nickname as the "cuddle hormone." By establishing these daily routines, you can gradually improve all aspects of your life, developing a healthier and more balanced existence.

Oxytocin, a hormone released when you help someone or show gratitude, can also be triggered by simple acts like hugging, giving gifts, or even liking a friend's post on Facebook. During the 2008 financial crisis, the author visited Wall Street and distributed chocolate gifts to traders and bankers. This not only boosted the author's oxytocin levels but also gave the bankers a dose of phenylethylamine, a chemical found in chocolate that can make you feel good, similar to being in love.

Purpose in Life: Discovering It Isn't Everything

It's often stressful to search for your life's purpose and can even lead some to give up on their current life. Are you worried that you haven't yet found your true purpose in life? Not knowing what to do with our lives can be very stressful. But there's no need to worry: some of the most successful people in the world didn't find their true purpose until much later in life. Colonel Sanders, the man behind Kentucky Fried Chicken, didn't make any money from his famous recipe until he started opening restaurants when he was 65 years old. Peter Roget, who created the thesaurus, was inspired to finish and publish his work only after retiring from his job as a doctor at the age of 70. This shows that stressing over your "purpose" is not very useful. Some people never find their purpose. That's why it's more important to enjoy life and do work that makes you happy.

Many people seek purpose and success, but when the pressure mounts, some consider escaping it all. This desire to disappear and start anew is known as pseudocide. However, starting over doesn't guarantee happiness. Your internal struggles-stress and pressure-will persist. Instead of vanishing, aim to free yourself from life's stresses. One way to achieve this is through meditation. Picture yourself as homeless, without future goals, and any baggage from your past. Imagine this scenario vividly. This exercise can help you forget stress and briefly experience a sense of rebirth, with fewer worries and anxieties.

Financial Success in the "Choose Yourself" Era: Learning from Bryan Johnson

Choosing yourself means maximizing your earnings without a middleman. To achieve this in today's market, let's take a cue from Bryan Johnson, the entrepreneur who founded Braintree, a successful credit card service.

Previously, Johnson worked for a company that handled credit card processing. His job involved convincing restaurants and businesses to switch to his company's services, a task he disliked because he was working for someone else. However, he decided to strike out on his own. Instead of quitting his job, Johnson started his own company and continued doing the same work but for himself.

Learning to Choose Yourself in the Workforce:

• Firstly, in today's era of "choose yourself," working for someone else isn't enjoyable. Secondly, you have a great chance to skip the middleman: don't work for a company that provides a service or product - instead, offer it yourself. If there's a demand for what you offer, your company could succeed. Johnson's success relied heavily on his ability to promote himself, crucial in this new "choose yourself" era.
• One effective way to promote yourself is to always think about the bigger picture. It's not just about getting the highest price for every sale (whether it's a product or your entire business) but extracting the most value from it. For instance, the author designed movie websites for New Line Cinema for only $1,000 per movie - 200 times less than usual. Why? Because he knew that by working for such a famous company, top designers would want to join his company. Even though it wasn't the best deal financially, his company gained immense value from it.

Honesty Leads to Success in the "Choose Yourself" Era

For a long time, many thought crime could pay off. Bernie Madoff, for instance, swindled people out of a staggering $65 billion in 2008. Even though Madoff was caught before he could use the money, his actions showed that lying and cheating seemed like a quick way to get rich. But in today's "choose yourself" era, that's not the case. The only path to success now is honesty.

Sure, being dishonest might bring short-term gains. But no matter how successful you become, once you're exposed as a liar, your luck runs out. No one will trust you again! (Certainly, no one would invest with Madoff nowadays.)

Benefits of Honesty in Business

Honesty grows and multiplies over time. By being truthful and fair, you build trust with others. Once trust is established, people are more likely to support your business and spread positive word-of-mouth. Additionally, if setbacks occur, those who trust you are more willing to help you recover, allowing your business to grow steadily.

However, becoming an honest person isn't easy if it's not already your nature. Here are some habits to cultivate honesty in your daily life:

• Firstly, manage your anger. Anger often arises from unmet expectations of others, which can lead to self-deception. Instead of blaming others when you're angry, acknowledge your feelings and try to shift focus to self-reflection.
• Secondly, avoid gossip. Speaking negatively about others behind their backs is dishonest and can harm relationships. What you say about someone usually gets back to them eventually.