Understand Stress

Stress is a natural part of life. Some stress can be good, like when it motivates you or alerts you to danger. However, too much stress for too long can be harmful. Instead of just "managing" stress, it's better to look at what's causing it and change how you think about it. Most of the stress we feel comes from our reactions, not necessarily from what's happening around us. This is good news because it means we have some control over it. 

Short-term, stress can be helpful. It can make us more alert and ready to deal with problems. Our bodies have built-in ways of dealing with stress, like making our hearts beat faster and sending more blood to our muscles. This is called the fight-or-flight response. It helps us decide whether to run away from a threat or face it head-on. But our bodies aren't designed to handle stress all the time. Chronic, long-term stress can cause problems. It can make us feel tired, anxious, or even sick. 

Positive Thinking

if you're dealing with chronic stress. Sit back and relax for a bit, then find your pulse. Count how many times your heart beats in one minute. Now, sit up straight and place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. Notice which hand moves more as you breathe. A healthy person usually has a resting heart rate of 55 to 70 beats per minute and breathes 12 to 16 times per minute on average. When relaxed, breathing slows to four to ten breaths per minute. Write down any symptoms you're experiencing, like headaches, fatigue, anxiety, anger, or boredom.

When negative thoughts keep replaying in your mind, hit the "Stop" button. Focus on your senses instead. Avoid being judgmental. Switch from negative self-talk to a positive mindset. Swap out words like "no, can't, won't, maybe, never... I should, I need to" with positive ones like "I am, I can, I will, I do."

“Stress Paradigms”

Dr. Peter Johnston, a psychiatrist at the University of Chicago's student mental health clinic, once received a call from a student canceling their counseling session because their father had passed away. The student also had a major exam coming up. Dr. Johnston suggested rescheduling the exam to allow time for grieving. The student agreed, saying, "I need time to grieve, but it's not right now." In doing so, the student employed a powerful stress management technique: deciding how to cope before the body reacts physically, in the gap between the stimulus and response.

Controlling stress is key to staying calm. Use this "Stressbuster" method: pause, breathe deeply, picture what might happen next, and follow the "golden rule" of treating others as you want to be treated. Understand your body's stress signs. While your body should react to real danger, your mind often sees emotional situations as threats, triggering stress.

When something happens, how you react depends on how you see things – that's your paradigm. If your view is off, it can mess with how you understand stuff. Like this guy who was scared of dogs. If he spotted one, he'd take a different path. If a dog without a leash came his way, he'd get mad at the owner. But then his daughter wanted a dog, so he caved and got her a little English Spaniel. When the pup started being nice to him, he realized the issue wasn't dogs, but how he saw them.

Change Stressful Mindsets

To move "from stress to tranquility," let's tweak seven stressful ways of thinking to more relaxed ones.

1. “Reactive to Proactive”

Stress is part of life, but we can dial it down. Take money matters, for instance. Instead of fretting, proactive folks stash cash and stick to a budget. They also keep fit, eat well, and stay on top of check-ups to ease health worries. When it comes to relationships, being respectful, kind, and forgiving keeps drama at bay. Research backs it up: feeling in charge reduces stress while feeling helpless amps it up.

2. “Unmotivated to Inspired”

If you're feeling unenthusiastic about your job, it might be due to stress or causing stress. To combat this, seek inspiration. Craft a mission statement that motivates you. Identify your values and rank them by importance. Then, connect these values to your work. Translate each value into positive affirmations, like "I am healthy and strong" and "I manage stress effectively." Use these affirmations to guide your decisions throughout the day, reducing stress.

3. “Pressure to Priorities”

Many people feel overwhelmed with work and resort to multitasking, but research suggests that true multitasking isn't possible. The human brain can only focus on one thing at a time, and trying to do multiple tasks simultaneously can increase stress. Instead, shift your approach from pressure to priorities by scheduling your tasks one at a time. Identify the two or three most important steps for the day and concentrate on those. By focusing on priorities, you can alleviate stress and improve productivity.

4. “Hassle to Harmony”

In the workplace, we often encounter issues like power struggles, ego clashes, and the fear of missing out. Instead of viewing life as a constant competition, it's beneficial to seek solutions where everyone can benefit. Take the example of Costco, a retail giant known for its diverse range of products and customer-friendly return policy. Despite concerns from other retail executives about potential financial risks, Costco's approach develops customer loyalty while ensuring employee satisfaction through fair wages. This strategy not only reduces turnover but also proves to be cost-effective in the long run.

5. “Anxiety to Empathy”

To cope with anxiety, try being more empathetic. Empathy means understanding how others feel, not just feeling sorry for them like sympathy does. Instead of listening to respond, practice listening with the intent to understand. Nowadays, technology makes communication easier, but it also means fewer face-to-face interactions, which can lead to more social anxiety.

Isolation can make empathy decline because people hesitate to emotionally invest in others. This isolation can also generate stress without them realizing it. Being mindful, and focusing on the present moment is crucial for empathy and stress relief. Mindfulness is like exercising—it gets easier with practice. One way to practice mindfulness is by savoring experiences, like going to your favorite restaurant alone. Instead of rushing through your meal, take time to enjoy each bite. Pay attention to the taste and texture of each spoonful as you eat.

6. “Defensive to Diverse”

Being overly defensive can create stress at work. Constantly protecting your turf can tire you out and close you off from different perspectives. For instance, when Netflix founder Reed Hastings proposed collaboration with Blockbuster, they refused, sticking to their own way. But Netflix thrived while Blockbuster went under. This kind of "groupthink" or stubbornness can lead to missed chances and lost money. To fight defensiveness, embrace diversity. Welcome different people, opinions, and attitudes. Stay open to new experiences, especially in unfamiliar places.

7. “Tense to Tranquil”

Despite trying hard, sometimes stress just sneaks up on you. Co-author Sam Bracken had a tough childhood, but he turned his life around. He was born from a terrible event, and his mother left him at an orphanage when he was four. At five, a boy who later became his stepbrother set him on fire. His stepbrother and stepfather kept abusing him. But at 18, he managed to escape, earning a football scholarship to Georgia Tech. When a shoulder injury stopped him in his sophomore year, Sam almost gave up. His coach suggested he take stock by jotting down his feelings in a binder with four sections: "Mental, Physical, Emotional," and "Spiritual." Following his coach's advice, improve these areas of your life with the following exercises.

• “Mental tranquility”: To find peace of mind, you can try different methods like mantra meditation, guided imagery, or syncing your breathing with the rhythm of the ocean. Visualization, where you picture something calming and engage all your senses, can help with various issues like chronic pain, headaches, and asthma, or even boost your athletic performance. Mantra meditation involves sitting comfortably and silently repeating a word like "one," "relax," or "peace" for a few seconds, allowing your mind to focus on it and gently bringing it back when it wanders. Try this for 10 to 20 minutes daily, a few times a week. It's okay if your mind wanders or if you doze off; just give yourself a couple of minutes to come back to your peaceful state.
• “Physical tranquility”: To feel more physically relaxed, incorporate exercise and relaxation techniques into your routine. After a stressful event, engage in 30 to 60 minutes of cardio exercise, like jogging or biking, and notice how it makes you feel better afterward. Relaxation methods such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can also help. Spend 10 to 20 minutes a day in a quiet room practicing these techniques. Getting enough sleep is crucial for reducing stress. Improve your sleep quality by going to bed earlier, avoiding heavy meals close to bedtime, keeping your bedroom dark, and staying away from electronic devices before sleeping. Quick power naps of 15 minutes or less during the day can give you a boost. Alternatively, try this relaxation method: Lie down with your feet up on a chair, focus on your breath for 10 minutes, gently move your neck, and then slowly rise from a fetal position.
• “Emotional tranquility”: To keep stress at bay, it's important to form "nonstressful connections with other people." This means reaching out to those who make you feel calm and relaxed, like hanging out with friends. Another great stress-buster is service. Helping others doesn't have to be complicated; it can be as simple as assisting a neighbor, spending time with friends, running errands for someone in need, or giving donations or gifts.
• “Spiritual tranquility”: Striving for inner peace can involve religious practices or quiet moments for self-reflection. A study from an English university led by Dr. David Lewis found that reading a "good book" for just six minutes can reduce stress by 68%. While popular novels are great for relaxation, classical literature encourages deeper contemplation. Listening to music can also significantly decrease stress levels, with classical and New Age instrumental music being particularly effective.

Big challenges like disasters, money troubles, or serious illness can make us stop and think. They're like tests that force us to reevaluate our lives. Even though they're tough, a lot of folks say they come out the other side feeling different, maybe even better. Before J.K. Rowling wrote the famous Harry Potter books, her life wasn't easy. She was broke, sad, and raising her daughter alone after a divorce. But in a speech at Harvard, she shared how three things helped her figure out what was important: her daughter, an old typewriter, and a big idea.