Influence People by Understanding the Brain

Humans think in two main ways. One is fast, automatic, and mostly instinctive. The other is slow, careful, and analytical. To make it easier, we can call the first the Gator Brain and the second the Judge Brain.

The Gator Brain is like an alligator's brain. Alligators are big and strong, but their brains are very small. They use habits, instincts, and simple rules to survive, acting on autopilot most of the time. Humans are similar: we often rely on habits and routines to save mental energy. When you do something familiar, like cooking, swimming, or reading, you're using your Gator Brain. It's efficient, but it is also "lazy."

The Judge Brain is slower and handles complex thinking. It analyzes, compares, questions, and solves new problems. Your Judge Brain works when a task is unfamiliar or requires careful thought. While many people assume Judge Brain is in charge, the Gator Brain actually does most of the work. It decides what information gets passed to the Judge Brain, meaning that the Gator controls what you think and notice first.

Understanding this can help you influence others. Most people try to convince others by appealing to the Judge Brain, using logic, facts, and detailed explanations. But this may not work as well as appealing to the Gator Brain first. People are more likely to respond when the action is simple, clear, and easy to follow.

A real-world example comes from Domino's Pizza. In 2015, Domino's wanted to beat Pizza Hut as the top pizza delivery company. They noticed that people didn't want complicated ways to order. Most customers already had their address and payment information saved. Domino's created the Anyware campaign, which allowed people to order pizza by sending a simple emoji. That's right: just send a pizza emoji, and the usual order would be delivered. The results were remarkable:

• Sales increased 10% in the first quarter.
• Within three years, Domino's overtook Pizza Hut as the largest pizza delivery company.

This works because the process appeals directly to the Gator Brain. It made the decision extremely simple, removed obstacles, and relied on existing habits. When you make tasks easy and clear, people are more likely to act. To influence people effectively, focus on making actions simple, automatic, and easy to follow.

• Simplify decisions: Reduce steps and make choices obvious.
• Use habits: Connect actions to what people already do automatically.
• Appeal to the Gator Brain first: People respond better to instinctive, easy actions than complex logic.
• Make actions graspable: The simpler your proposal, the higher the chance of success.

People operate mostly in Gator mode. Complex reasoning comes later. By focusing on simplicity, convenience, and clarity, you can increase the likelihood that people will take the actions you want. Think of your goal as creating a "pizza emoji" for your idea, something easy, clear, and irresistible.

How Asking Can Turn "No" into "Yes"

Jia Jiang, a recent MBA graduate, wanted to become an entrepreneur but feared rejection after his first pitch to a venture capitalist was turned down. To overcome this fear, he developed a plan called "100 Days of Rejection Therapy." The goal was simple: face rejection directly and learn to handle it without fear. Jia's experiment involved making unusual requests that he expected people to say no to. For example:

• Asking a Costco employee to announce over the store intercom.
• Requesting to become a live model in an Abercrombie & Fitch store.
• Asking to play soccer in a stranger's yard.

While many requests were refused, some surprisingly succeeded. One notable example was at a Krispy Kreme in Austin, Texas. Jia asked for donuts shaped like Olympic rings, even though they were not on the menu. He also said he could only wait 15 minutes. The server, Jackie, agreed and even gave him the donuts for free.

The main lesson here is that the high-level influencing tactic Jia used was simply asking. Many people hesitate to ask for what they want because they fear hearing no. Rejection feels personal and uncomfortable. Jia's approach showed that the more you face rejection, the less scary it becomes. The therapy worked because it changed how Jia viewed rejection. He learned:

• No isn't permanent: It doesn't mean failure or personal inadequacy.
• No is normal: Everyone experiences it, and it's not a bad thing.
• Yes is possible: Even bold, unusual requests can succeed.

You can practice similar skills yourself. One method is to spend 24 hours saying no to requests that don't appeal to you. This helps you:

• Become more comfortable with saying no politely and firmly.
• Observe your own reactions and feelings when rejecting others.
• Reduce the fear of rejection, both when asking and when being asked.

By becoming comfortable with rejection, you can improve your ability to influence others and increase the chances of receiving a yes. Jia's results show that bold requests, combined with persistence and courage, can lead to unexpected successes. Out of 100 days of requests, Jia received 51 yeses, more than half.

Asking for what you want is one of the simplest and most effective ways to influence others. Fear of hearing no often holds people back, but facing rejection directly can build confidence, improve communication, and create opportunities that would otherwise be missed. Whether it's a small request, like a custom donut, or a larger opportunity, the key is to ask, accept rejection without fear, and try again.

Make Your Pitch Work

Making a pitch successful depends not just on what you ask for, but also on when and how you ask. Timing plays a crucial role. For example, a Filipino airline agency in Hong Kong launched a campaign during the wettest days of the monsoon season. They sprayed invisible messages on sidewalks that only appeared when it rained. The message read: "It's sunny in the Philippines," along with a QR code linking to the airline's website. Because the campaign reached people when they were most ready to travel, flight sales increased by 37%.

Deliver your message when your audience is most receptive. If you are pitching a travel deal, do it when people feel the need to get away. If asking for a raise, choose a moment when your boss is relaxed and receptive, such as after you complete a successful project. Here are strategies to make your pitch stronger:

1. Avoid weakening words: Words like "just," "kind of," "more or less," or phrases like "I was just wondering" make your pitch seem uncertain. Instead of focusing on yourself with "I might be wrong," use neutral language that keeps the focus on the idea, such as:
   • "Is it possible that we try this approach?"
2. Make a bigger first ask: If you need $20,000 for a project, ask for $30,000 first. Even if they say no, asking for more makes your actual request seem reasonable. This works because people see the smaller request as a compromise and are more likely to say yes. Example:
   • First ask: $30,000 -> likely no
   • Second ask: $20,000 -> more likely yes
3. Use the "magic question" for big or difficult requests: Instead of asking, "Why can't I go part-time?" which may lead to objections, ask: "What would it take for me to go part-time?" This approach encourages problem-solving and collaboration. Your listener starts thinking about solutions instead of just saying no. Example:
   • You might need to train a junior team member or adjust your schedule to make it work.
   • This way, your request becomes part of a constructive discussion, increasing the chance of a positive outcome.
4. Minimize focus on yourself: Constantly using "I" draws attention away from your idea. Keep the conversation centered on the solution or request, not on your personal traits or weaknesses.
5. Leverage reciprocity and relative size: Big requests followed by smaller ones take advantage of the human tendency to reciprocate. People are more likely to compromise after you appear to make a concession.

A successful pitch combines timing, clear language, confident requests, and collaborative questions. By asking when your audience is ready, avoiding uncertain language, and framing your requests smartly, you increase the chances of getting a positive response. Simple adjustments in the way you ask can make a big difference in outcomes.

How Framing Shapes How People Decide

Framing is the way you present an idea, question, or proposal so that it affects how people think and respond. The way something is framed can strongly influence decisions, motivation, and actions. Even small changes in wording or examples can steer people toward a particular choice.

A clear example of framing is when Steve Jobs wanted John Sculley to join Apple. Sculley was the successful CEO of PepsiCo and had no reason to leave. Jobs first asked in a standard way, but Sculley declined. Then Jobs used a powerful frame: "Do you want to sell sugar-water for the rest of your life, or do you want to come with me and change the world?" This made Sculley think about the importance of his work rather than just stability and money. He accepted the offer. This shows how framing can change someone's perspective by focusing on meaning instead of just facts.

1. Monumental Frame: A monumental frame shows people that something is very important or exciting.
   • Makes something seem very important, exciting, or urgent.
   • Motivates people by showing that what they do has a big impact.
   • Example: A sales pitch that highlights how a new product could transform the market or improve many lives.
2. Manageable Frame: A manageable frame makes tasks feel doable and encourages action.
   • Makes tasks feel doable.
   • When people feel they can succeed, they are more likely to act.
   • Example: In a study by Australia's Commonwealth Bank, people with credit card debt were asked to pay off one category of spending at a time (like entertainment). They reduced their debt 12% faster than those who tried to tackle everything at once. Breaking a task into small, manageable steps helps people take action.
3. Mysterious Frame: A mysterious frame grabs attention by sparking curiosity.
   • Uses curiosity to attract attention.
   • Works when something is new, surprising, or intriguing.
   • Example: Clickbait headlines like "You'll never believe what happened next" grab attention because the brain wants to know the answer. The key is not to overpromise or mislead; mystery should lead to real value.

Frames can also be combined for a stronger impact. A good example is Marie Kondo's book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.

• Life-changing -> monumental.
• Magic -> mysterious.
• Tidying-up -> manageable.

This combination made the book highly appealing, helping it sell millions of copies. If the title had been plain, like House Organization Techniques, it likely would not have been as popular.

Use Resistance as a Tool to Influence Others

Aikido, a modern Japanese martial art, teaches that instead of fighting an opponent directly, you redirect their energy while keeping them safe. This idea can be applied to influencing people. When others resist your ideas or objections, you don't need to argue aggressively or shut down. Instead, you can acknowledge their resistance and redirect it toward a solution that works for both sides.

Ethan Brown, CEO of Beyond Meat, is a strong example of this approach. He understood that selling plant-based meat would be difficult. Many meat-eaters feel defensive when told their diet is unhealthy, so focusing on the environmental or health benefits alone would not work. Brown avoided criticizing meat-eaters and instead highlighted how his product was "Beyond" traditional meat, suggesting it was an improved and enjoyable option.

He also knew taste would be a major objection. To overcome this, he partnered with fast-food chains to offer plant-based pizzas, subs, and burgers, showing people that meatless options could taste just as good as regular meat. This strategy helped Beyond Meat reach $98.5 million in sales in 2019. The lessons from Brown's approach can be applied to everyday influence:

• Acknowledge resistance: When someone objects, don't dismiss their concerns. Instead, put their resistance into words. For example:
  • "You might think I'm too young for a managerial role."
  • "I understand we're asking for a lot of money."
    This disarms their resistance and allows them to focus on your actual proposal.
• Ask permission before making a request: People often say "no" automatically because they feel pressured. Instead of asking directly, try:
  • "Could we have a conversation about my pay this week?"
    This way, the person agrees to discuss the matter without feeling forced.
• Emphasize choice: Let people know they are free to decline. Use phrases like "No pressure" or "Feel free to say no." Even though they could say no anyway, stating it clearly reduces resentment and creates a more positive interaction.

By combining these approaches, you can handle objections calmly and effectively, like an Aikido master redirecting energy. Rather than arguing or forcing your point, you can guide resistance into a conversation that leads to agreement or compromise. The strategies are:

1. Recognize and articulate objections instead of ignoring them.
2. Frame your proposal in a way that makes people feel positive about it.
3. Give people the freedom to choose without pressure.

Applying these methods in personal or professional situations can help you influence others, reduce conflict, and create better outcomes for everyone involved.