Face Fear: Helping Others Amidst Catastrophe

In moments of extreme fear, shift your focus away from yourself and towards helping others. This tactic was exemplified by Evy Poumpouras, a former Special Agent of the United States Secret Service (USSS), during the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center.

Instead of succumbing to her own fear, Poumpouras and her colleagues sprang into action to assist victims amidst the chaos of the collapsing towers. Their selfless bravery earned them the United States Secret Service Valor Award, the highest recognition bestowed by the agency.

Build Layers of Protection

Bulletproof vests aren't made of steel like many believe. Instead, they're crafted from layers of Kevlar, a special fabric designed for protection. The thicker the vest, the safer it is. The best ones even include layers of ceramic or metal for added strength. While you might not own a bulletproof vest, you can still be safer by gathering layers of knowledge and skills to handle life's unexpected challenges.

One of the most basic ways to stay safe is to know how to defend yourself physically. If you're faced with bullying or an attack and can't escape, outsmart the threat, or get help, having fighting skills can make a huge difference. Get trained so you can fight back effectively when you need to.

During the G20 Summit in Mexico, a small but mighty individual, Poumpouras, found herself in a sticky situation. A hefty Chinese general, twice her size, tried to muscle his way into a secure room where US President Barack Obama was holding talks with China™s president. Despite not being on the guest list, the general refused to take no for an answer.

Poumpouras, standing her ground, attempted to block his path. But the general, with no regard for courtesy, forcefully pushed her aside and stormed into the room. Instead of cowering, Poumpouras seized the moment and physically ejected the general from the premises, initiating a scuffle with him and his cohorts.

It's crucial not to let others intimidate or bully you. Sometimes, you might find yourself in situations where fighting seems like the only option. But always keep in mind that resorting to physical altercations can be risky. You never know if the other person is armed, mentally unstable, or harbors dangerous intentions.

Protect Yourself from Bullies

Don't let people bully or push you around. If you must, fight back, but remember that physical fights are never a smart choice. You don't know if the other person has a weapon, is mentally ill, drunk, or has harmful intentions. Instead of fighting, use these strategies:

1. œHarnessing fear “ Managing your fears doesn™t always mean overcoming them. Instead, make them work for you. With a positive mindset, fear can help you achieve goals, stay determined, and avoid becoming your œfeared self”the person you don™t want to be.
2. œMental armor “ This is your internal shield against bullying words or threats. During Poumpouras™s Secret Service training, instructors gradually increased the stress on trainees to strengthen their mental armor.
3. œThe Secret Service mind-set “ Prepare yourself, mentally and physically, for scary events. Don™t dwell on them, but accept them as possible parts of life. When you plan for worst-case scenarios, you™ll fear them less.
4. œBulletproof your life “ Make your home safe by having exterior lighting and keeping doors and windows clear of hiding spots. Install good locks and dead-bolts. Carry fewer credit cards, ID cards, and insurance cards to reduce hassle if your wallet is stolen. To avoid identity theft, limit the number of websites where you enter your birth date. Protect your children by not posting information about them online.

Detect Honesty and Deceit

Learn to recognize the cues that indicate whether people are "honest" or "deceitful." In addition to her regular Secret Service duties, Poumpouras received special Department of Defense training to become a polygraph examiner and interviewer. She became an expert at reading people.

Poumpouras learned that trying to intimidate people into telling the truth doesn't work; it just makes them put up their guard. Instead, watch for signs of nervousness and anxiety, and any pretense of disinterest in your questions. The more you talk, the less you'll learn about the other person and their deceptions. Listen carefully instead. If what the person says sounds rehearsed, you may not be getting the truth. "Active listening" is the best way to tell truths from lies.

Being able to tell when someone is lying has always been important. In 500 BC India, priests had a unique method to identify liars. They would order accused criminals to enter a pitch-dark tent containing a donkey. The accused had to pull the donkey™s tail. The priests claimed that if the donkey brayed, the person was guilty. However, the priests secretly coated the donkey™s tail with soot. If the person came out with clean hands, the priests knew they hadn™t touched the tail and thus were lying and likely guilty.

Tips to Protect Yourself from Lies:

1. "Everybody lies" “ Understand that everyone lies, often more than once a day. In a single conversation, a person may lie one to 10 times.
2. "Reading people" “ Learn to read body language, which can show what people are thinking. Signs of lying can include clenched jaws, fidgeting, or covering the mouth. Everyone shows stress differently, so first, observe how a person behaves when relaxed to detect changes under stress.
3. "How people read you" “ Think about how great TV newscasters look: perfect clothes, good posture, big smiles, and neat hair. First impressions last. To be seen positively, always look and act your best.
4. "What are they really saying" “ Sometimes, people™s words don™t match their real message. Listen for hints. For example, if someone says, "As I™m sure you™re aware¦," pay close attention to understand their true meaning.

Accept that no one, not even a polygraph expert, can detect lies perfectly.

Learn the Art of Persuasion

Life gets easier when you know how to "influence others," so learn to use effective persuasion techniques. The way you speak, dress, and carry yourself can sway people to your point of view. Even the words you choose can make a difference. You can "prime" people to be more open to your influence. Priming means preparing someone for what™s next, like how auto body shops use a primer coat before the final paint.

Use the priming principle to achieve your goals. For example, if you have a meeting with a client, choose a room with a window. Natural light promotes openness. To prime someone for openness, plan your opening sentences carefully. Choose your words wisely.

Tips to Influence Others:

1. œHow to influence “ Your words are powerful tools. Many people speak without thinking, but if you choose your words carefully, you can better influence others.
2. œUndivided attention “ Former US President Bill Clinton™s rally attendees loved him. While on duty with the Secret Service, Poumpouras observed the loyalty Clinton™s people had for him. This loyalty stemmed from Clinton™s ability to give focused attention to each person he spoke with, making them feel special. To win people over, give them your full attention.

The Tragic History of Agios Minas Monastery

When she was nine, Poumpouras visited the Greek Island of Chios with her father. They explored the ancient Agios Minas Monastery near Neohori, his childhood village.

Back in 1822, this monastery witnessed a terrible event. Turkish invaders attacked thousands of Greeks who sought refuge within its walls. The Greeks rebelled against the Turkish Ottoman Empire after nearly four centuries of oppression. In response, the Turks launched a brutal assault. Despite the Greeks' efforts to hide within the sturdy monastery, the Turks broke through. They set fire to many, including children, leaving behind bones and skulls as grim reminders of the massacre.

Learn from Tough Lessons

Poumpouras remembers how her dad took her to Chios when she was young. He wanted her to understand the importance of being strong and standing up for herself. He also wanted his kids to grasp that death is a part of life, so they shouldn't fear it but accept it.

She figured out that everyone feels fear sometimes, no matter how tough they seem. Even if you're tough as nails, there's still something that can scare you. She learned to face fear head-on, dealing with it bravely and maturely.

Fear isn't always bad. It's something we all face, which actually connects us. Instead of running from fear, face it head-on. Even when things seem impossible, try to overcome your fears. This toughens you up, like adding layers of armor.

When you reach this point, you gain immense strength. Each time you confront fear, you become tougher and more resilient, like a bulletproof vest.

A Heroine Emerges on 9/11

Fresh out of Secret Service training, Evy Poumpouras found herself in the midst of the chaos on September 11th. Despite her initial fears, she stayed strong amidst the rubble, haze, and fire. Poumpouras aided stunned and injured victims, helping them survive the harrowing aftermath of the attack.

At ground zero, Poumpouras became a hero. Despite being just 25 years old and newly trained, she stood out. She was small “ only five feet, two inches tall and weighing just 100 pounds. Not the typical image of a hero. She was inexperienced, the newest of the new.

But in the chaos, covered in ash and debris, struggling to see and breathe, she didn't hesitate. Poumpouras put her fears aside to help others. And for that, she received the Secret Service's highest honor. She admits it wasn't easy; she had to dig deep to find the courage.

To be brave, she says, you have to tap into your inner strength, your determination, and your compassion. Learn the skills to handle any situation that comes your way. Because when you're facing danger, you can only rely on one person: yourself. Be ready.